Is Beauty in the Eye?

I started gathering white things for my white page and found a whole heap of stuff. Of course, I tried to get as much stuff on my page as possible!

Here is a rough list...
paper: Watercolour paper, acrylic paper, photographic paper, crepe paper, toilet paper, tissue paper with pearl squares.
Tape: masking, electrical and label
Fabric: felt, cotton, lace, thin gauze
Fibres: toy stuffing, embroidery thread, KO beading thread, ribbon, irridescent fusible fibres, art threads
Pencils and pens etc: correction pen, glue pen, irridescent oil pastel, chalk
Liquids: wax, acrylic, glitter glue, gesso
Powders: glitter, clear embossing powder
Buttons and beads: flat plastic button, old pearl button, vintage beads, coconut spacers, cats eye beads, white millefori style bead, size 11 white ceylon, size 8 white opaque, frosted drop beads.
Other stuff: white netting, plastic bag, stick on gems, stick on foam letters, craft pom poms


As I made this page, I was working quickly and filling up space rather than worrying too much about placement. Some of it was practical though, for instance one piece of lace wouldn't stick so it was helped with some tape and sewing. Some was experimental, particularly the wax dripping.

I always knew this page would be about texture because it was to be plain and white. The word that sprang to mind when I got to the foam letters was beauty and I went with it, even though I am sure this page doesn't form to the classic understanding of beauty! I thought some more and the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder came to mind. I imagine this sort of page would be really interesting to feel, particularly if you couldn't see it. So is beauty in the eye? Or is it somewhere else? Maybe the mind? Obviously the phrase means what is beautiful to one may not be beautiful to another but....

I have some favourite parts of this page...

• The feel of the wax drops in the toy stuffing
• The three stick on gems together
• The spirals on the gauze as they show the change in texture
• The triangle of fusible fibres that comes down from the pom poms
• The beads sewn randomly onto the lace
• The gesso in the net

My scanner was convinced this page was black and white and I had to con it to make it scan in colour. Even so, I don't think the scanned image shows off the page so well. But just imagine running your fingers over it....

This page won't be permanent. It is randomly thrown together and will not be able to take much throwing around. I will also find other white things to add I am sure! That top left corner is looking a little dull to me..... *grin*

Back to Wrecking

I wanted to do was implement some of the ideas I had had to repair and prettify the damage caused by walking my book.

I got some purple ink and painted the white scuffed parts of the back cover. I then watered down the ink a little and painted the parts of the last page that show when the book is shut. I watered it down a little more and started on the next to last page and so on...The idea was to create a stepped look with the colour slowly changing. I like the way this looks but it isn't as extreme as I had hoped!

Then I started work on the back cover. I placed some sticky backed plastic on the inside of the back cover and then placed some cellophane on the outside of the front cover so it stuck onto the sticky backed plastic where there was no book cover. The cellophane was some florists wrap I saved with words written in silver and on the cover it has flower and part of leaf.

I noticed that the there was a nice cavity and decided to pour some glitter in. I used pink, white and purple and then added some punched out hearts as well. I then sealed up the spine by using some silver tape and cut the plastic down to size. I used some tape on one edge to make sure it remained shut. I had to use some glue at the spine and a little extra tape to seal it up.

Now I have a book I can tape up and put in the post! If I hadn't wanted to create a book I could tape up to post I would never have thought of repairing the back cover. If I hadn't wanted to show the purple terraced pages rather than hide them, I wouldn't have used clear plastic. If I hadn't done all this and created a clear pocket I wouldn't have thought of filling it with pretty things. I really love how it has turned out.....

Wrecking Ball

I have decided to only post on this once a week but to write every day!

In summary of this week... I have come to realise that my approach to this journal is a reflection of my true approach to life, how I should be living in order to be true to me. How we approach this journal is really, really personal and can tell others so much about ourselves.

My attitude towards the wrecking has changed completely - each act of destruction is a chance to create a new set of possibilities. I have some plans for the repair / transformation of my journal following last weeks seriously destructive start but this requires a little time... It has given me some lovely ideas.

I am not sure if I am ever going to be able to consider my journal as finished! Each page can be reworked and reworked. Destructive acts can just add layers and layers of character to it. If something beautiful is lost it doesn't matter, it is still there in my laptop, stored for all timeand there is the possibility that something even more fantastic can be made from the new starting point.

Experimenting is great and this journal is one great big experiment....

*****

Saturday
Took journal in shower and gave it a bit of a wash with my shampoo bar and then my solid conditioner to. It now smells nice and is a wee bit cleaner! Took the book out in the car and left it in the car so it could bake a little to help it dry out.

I started the day by feeling a little sorrowful about my book. It is a mess. It is haggard and old and the chances of me managing to make anything nice and pretty in such a book are just so slim. I was mourning the fact that I could have created a thing of beauty and instead I have this abused hunk of sodden paper which is still muddy.

But then I began to think. I can fix it. There is no reason I can not fix the damage and turn parts of the book into something else. There is no reason I can not mend the cover and tape up the spine. In fact I will need to if I am going to send it in the post... I can still have pretty but it doesn't have to be pretty and if it is pretty, i can make it ugly again whenever I feel like and pretty it up again too.... Maybe this hournal will never ever actually be finished....

Sunday
The journal is still wet so I can't do a whole lot to it really. I pulled out a page and stuck it under some soil to compost in our garden. I pulled out another page to screw up and put in my black jeans pocket before I wash them. I figured that I might as well do something fun to the washing page before so I could see what washing does to colour to. One side I used watercolour pencils and the other I used oil pastels....

I then put my journal out in the garden to dry and every so often I popped out to open it to a different page to help with the drying...

Monday
The journal was still damp and found itself left on the landing to dry today. After work I finally crumpled up my washing page and put it in my jeans to wash and that is where it is right now. I have my draw of pens next to me and my journal and I am going to have a play while we have a film on TV....

... I have doodled and dabbled... My front cover has been embellished with metallic markers and it now has a luscious flowering vine. My name page has my name. I discovered that my name spelt backwards gives DNILASOR which kind of makes me think dinosaur, so I drew a very rough dinosaur to go with it. I added some page numbers. Page one is the taking book for a walk page and it has a giant metallic green one. Page two is an orange shower page. Page three I can't find but I did rip a page out and screw it up. Page four is the stub of a composting page. Page five is in the washing machine still. Page sixIs the one that tells you to embellish other pages and six a is the front cover. Page seven is a lovely messing connect dots with eyes shut and eight is my name page.

BUT MY JOURNAL IS STILLLLL DAMP!

Tuesday
My journal is still damp. some of the things I did last night have altered since last night. They have bled a little, mingled a little, passed on to other pages a little... I do need to get the thing dry soon though otherwise it will start to smell and go mouldy. Might have a go with my hairdryer later... In fact I think it already needs some odour assistance, my shampoo and conditioner seem to have worn off... The scent page calls. Job for tonight....

My washed page has come out nice. The oil pastels are still there, mostly. The water colour pencils have been mostly washed out but there are hints of colour here and there. The page has a lovely soft crinkly texture now to.

While everyone was out of the room I sneakily borrowed some pens...



At lunch I did a bunch more things...

Thursday
Noticed that my composting page is not composting - it is being eaten!

Leafy

Another spread in my Niece's book which I completed last weekend. I applied clear gesso mixed with white paint and then closed the book and squidged it. I peeled it open and then stuck some pretty multicoloured pastel leave skeletons into the gesoo. No idea why the second picture is black and white...

Wrecked

I had no expectations of having a journal waiting for me at home as I left work. I drove home deciding to go to a nice shady wildlife reserve called Kennall Vale for a walk with Little Dog. It is a steep sided valley which used to be home to an explosives factory and then later a granite quarry. The mills for the explosives works were water powered by the river and a series of channels (leats) that run between the mills. All is ruined now but more beautiful for it. Full of growing things and water. Go see my other blog for some pictures.

So I got home and there it was - the book I have been waiting for. But I wanted to go out.... I decided to break the back straight away. This is a bit symbolic to me. I always break the backs of my books but never of library books or books belonging to others. Breaking the book is my way of claiming this journal and making it mine...

So I had a quick flick through and found it... 'tie a string to the journal. go for a walk, drag it.' ooohhh... but people might see me - um, so? but it will be muddy and dirty and nasty - er, isn't that the point? I couldn't think of a good reason NOT to do it... Not given the whole point of it.

So off we went in the car. Little Dog had to stay on the lead there so I had two leads... There is a long path into the reserve proper and since last time they have covered it in granite chippings. This started to scuff it up nicely. I was starting to feel braver and stopped thinking about the things to come.

My two leads got tangled up a couple of times and Little Dog ended up trampling Journal Dog a couple of time - mind you so did I. The path was fine to start with but it got muddier the closer we got to the main river and my book slowly started to get dirty.

The path along the other side of the valley goes along the backs of the mills, past the leats and the waterfalls, through shallow streams, across wooden bridges lined with chickenwire, down steep granite steps. I had to grit my teeth to get through the first puddle but after that it got easier.... And my book got dragged through it all...

I bumped into a couple of people and I picked up my book. My excuse is that they had dogs and dealing with two leads - one of which held an excited hound. I got my book back to the car, not exactly safe and not exactly sound, not any more...

My journal is now officially wrecked, having done this in such a big way, right from the beginning I feel free from the desire to make my wrecking pretty. Nothing I can do to this book is ever really going to make it pretty now! *laugh*

Hope you are all having as much as I am!

The wrecked front - not too bad?

This is what remains of the back....

This gives you some idea of how much of the back of the book has gone.... *grin*

So how do I feel? I would never have chosen this prompt to follow if I hadn't been desperate to do SOMETHING to blog about tonight and still go for my walk. This was a pretty tricky one for me, some of the others would have been easy. Trashing it so much, in public, was fun! Nothing else I can do to it, could wreck it this much (could it?) so surely now there is no pressure? (is there?) It was very, very much beyond my comfort zone - no safe easy start here...

Pastel Yellow

Yesterday i bought some nice new pastels - four yellow ones this time. I don't know why but when I decide to try out new pastels I always seem to end up doing circles of colour and blending. So here it is yellow for Project Spectrum's air. I have found this hard because air is hard to reproduce pictorially as you can't see it and yellow isn't my most favourite colour....

Wreck This Journal

OK - so my book hasn't arrived. I want to get started. I want to have a look. I want to be part of the group. I feel left out.....

Well I did until I read through the links posted by others showing their progress. So many people out there are intimidated by the blank page. The unusual instructions. The lack of reverence they will have to show to a book.... Not many people have really gotten started yet.

In my desire not to feel left out, I have been hunting around on the net about this book and I found a few things that I have found inspiring and I guess others might to, if they are feeling blocked...

First off is the Flickr group and second is the author's blog which includes pictures.

I put off buying this book when I first heard about it. The idea of destroying a book kind of hurts. But as soon as I got hold of the idea that not giving it a go would mean I would miss out on some fun and some weird and wonderful experiments in the world of creativity, well... Things began to change. More than a book lover, i am a rule follower and if the rule is to wreck this journal then I am hoping that I can follow this rule to the hilt... Maybe I can make up some new exciting rules for me to follow in my life while I am at it.

So if you are stuck, go be inspired by what others have achieved. I think it helps to look at the trailblazers - kind of comforting.....