Saturday, 13 June 2009

Wrecking Ball

I have decided to only post on this once a week but to write every day!

In summary of this week... I have come to realise that my approach to this journal is a reflection of my true approach to life, how I should be living in order to be true to me. How we approach this journal is really, really personal and can tell others so much about ourselves.

My attitude towards the wrecking has changed completely - each act of destruction is a chance to create a new set of possibilities. I have some plans for the repair / transformation of my journal following last weeks seriously destructive start but this requires a little time... It has given me some lovely ideas.

I am not sure if I am ever going to be able to consider my journal as finished! Each page can be reworked and reworked. Destructive acts can just add layers and layers of character to it. If something beautiful is lost it doesn't matter, it is still there in my laptop, stored for all timeand there is the possibility that something even more fantastic can be made from the new starting point.

Experimenting is great and this journal is one great big experiment....


Took journal in shower and gave it a bit of a wash with my shampoo bar and then my solid conditioner to. It now smells nice and is a wee bit cleaner! Took the book out in the car and left it in the car so it could bake a little to help it dry out.

I started the day by feeling a little sorrowful about my book. It is a mess. It is haggard and old and the chances of me managing to make anything nice and pretty in such a book are just so slim. I was mourning the fact that I could have created a thing of beauty and instead I have this abused hunk of sodden paper which is still muddy.

But then I began to think. I can fix it. There is no reason I can not fix the damage and turn parts of the book into something else. There is no reason I can not mend the cover and tape up the spine. In fact I will need to if I am going to send it in the post... I can still have pretty but it doesn't have to be pretty and if it is pretty, i can make it ugly again whenever I feel like and pretty it up again too.... Maybe this hournal will never ever actually be finished....

The journal is still wet so I can't do a whole lot to it really. I pulled out a page and stuck it under some soil to compost in our garden. I pulled out another page to screw up and put in my black jeans pocket before I wash them. I figured that I might as well do something fun to the washing page before so I could see what washing does to colour to. One side I used watercolour pencils and the other I used oil pastels....

I then put my journal out in the garden to dry and every so often I popped out to open it to a different page to help with the drying...

The journal was still damp and found itself left on the landing to dry today. After work I finally crumpled up my washing page and put it in my jeans to wash and that is where it is right now. I have my draw of pens next to me and my journal and I am going to have a play while we have a film on TV....

... I have doodled and dabbled... My front cover has been embellished with metallic markers and it now has a luscious flowering vine. My name page has my name. I discovered that my name spelt backwards gives DNILASOR which kind of makes me think dinosaur, so I drew a very rough dinosaur to go with it. I added some page numbers. Page one is the taking book for a walk page and it has a giant metallic green one. Page two is an orange shower page. Page three I can't find but I did rip a page out and screw it up. Page four is the stub of a composting page. Page five is in the washing machine still. Page sixIs the one that tells you to embellish other pages and six a is the front cover. Page seven is a lovely messing connect dots with eyes shut and eight is my name page.


My journal is still damp. some of the things I did last night have altered since last night. They have bled a little, mingled a little, passed on to other pages a little... I do need to get the thing dry soon though otherwise it will start to smell and go mouldy. Might have a go with my hairdryer later... In fact I think it already needs some odour assistance, my shampoo and conditioner seem to have worn off... The scent page calls. Job for tonight....

My washed page has come out nice. The oil pastels are still there, mostly. The water colour pencils have been mostly washed out but there are hints of colour here and there. The page has a lovely soft crinkly texture now to.

While everyone was out of the room I sneakily borrowed some pens...

At lunch I did a bunch more things...

Noticed that my composting page is not composting - it is being eaten!


  1. Wow, I am awed and amazed at the beauty you have created in one week with your journal .... it really does look beautiful, Ros, and you've so wholeheartedly embraced the mission to get wrecking .... I'm speechless.
    And your enthusiasm and sense of fun really comes through in this post. I love that you see that the journal might never be 'finished' too.
    I'm still lingering, not quite embracing the full destruction urges. I can't believe that I will like what I create if I let myself go wild. But you've really got me thinking.
    Thank you!!

    Many beautiful blessings.

  2. I am still amazed how much this book can take.
    Well done!

  3. The perpetually damp journal has had itself some FUN this week! :) Weeee! You wreck girl! :)

  4. WOW- you are the Queen of Wreckage. I've done NOTHING this week...absolutely reason beyond lack of motivation really..but it gives me a chance to get caught up with everyone else....:)

    Can I say that you are very brave? I need to just take the plunge....

  5. You see bugs can't read... if they could they would have chewed on the right page! Ha! How funny. Guess what. I just went to check on my composting page and it's being eaten too!!! I'm going to stick the 'chew' page with it so the snails or whatever can have a munch on that too!

  6. You actually gave your journal a shower, soap and all. Brilliant! Good to know that the shower task takes a few days to dry. Happy wrecking!

  7. Fabulous wrecking! If your journal is still wet, can you toss it in the dryer? I might try that -- that would wreck it well, I think! :) Miracles! k-

  8. I've noticed I have change in attitude toward the journal. I've also noticed that I pay way to much attention to the instructions ... like number the pages ... and like a good little girl I started with one ... well, why not start with 49?!!! I think that's what it's all about ... think outside the box and play. Here's to wonderful wrecking. I really enjoyed your post.

  9. Very cool! Your cover page is awesome!!!
    Is it mildew that is eatiing your journal?

  10. I love your comment about how each act of destruction can open up new possiblities. Sort of like pruning a bush for more fruitfulness.

  11. Someone in the WTJ group put her wet journal in the dryer. I'm sure it was noisy as can be, but it was at least dry. You might want to try it, if it hasn't dried by now.

    I get what you are saying about pretty and ugly and back to pretty again.

  12. I love your whole thought process and revelations..and all the lives this book is going through. Fabulous!!!

    Peace & Love.

  13. You must have thoroughly soaked it! Great wrecking!
    Have a wonderful wrecking week.

  14. Update on the chewing. I left my chew this page outside last night and found some slugs and snails having a good old munch this morning - guess they did not read the 'warning do not swallow'. I had to flick one of them off it before I could bring it back inside ready to stick back in! At least while they're eating paper, they are not eating my plants!!

  15. What a process. I love the bravery you bring to the destruction, and the way you feel all the feelings it brings up and work creatively and lovingly with them.

    And I am struggling with when when when mine is going to dry. Tried the microwave (not so helpful) and the dryer (terrible noise and I am really not up for "wrecking this dryer" which would be a pretty expensive experiment)

  16. you are a true "WRECKER" and I love your thoughts on the journal is going through the different phases as our we. and like the book we may never be complete. good stuff! ciao!

  17. Wow - It's inspiring how you have completely embraced the idea that "destruction" is the doorway to new possibilities and that nothing is ever gone for good - it just re-manifests itself. Terrific wrecking!

  18. The shower is still scaring me a little - I didn't get quite that far this week. Maybe next week.

    I like your cover page.

  19. ooo I love the way you think! Very illuminating little week there! Gave me food for thought!

  20. Wow! I love what you say about destruction = more possibilities. Also about "hey, I can always make it ugly again" (or pretty). Nice. I really do like your pretty pages - and was interesting to see what your oil pastels/washing page turned into.

  21. It was just great to read about your creative/destructive journey and all that's been going on for you as you take each step. What a great adventure - on the inside and out. I love the way the wear and tear actually gives your cover a feeling of age that enhances the design you have. What an awesome journey.

  22. Golly! That washed page has an ethereal loveliness to it... I tried washing the page and it never came back from the laundry! Maybe I'll try another page and see if it disappears, too. Thank you for sharing so many photos! Wreck on!!

  23. I still haven't gotten my journal wet. I can't imagine taking it in the shower with me...maybe after I spread dirt on one of the pages, I'll bathe it! :)